Learning to be still

I am a person who on the whole thrives upon activity. Whether that is being physically busy at work or whether that is allowing my mind to race … jumping from topic to topic connecting the strands of information into a pattern, it seems I am often on the go. Recently though I have experienced a few quieter days due to the holidays and some more days off than usual, so there have been moments of pause with nothing that felt really pressing to do. Many people might jump for joy at such an opportunity to do nothing at all but I observed something interesting in myself… I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

I asked myself ‘Why the disquiet triggered by having some free-time’? ‘Why the rush to fill every spare moment’? ‘Surely there is something ‘constructive’ you could be doing right now’? It took a while to come up with a reasonable answer, which is simply that I had fallen out of the habit of being still. For the last several years I have been juggling studies, work, every-day life and now a business, so of course there is always lots to do. I also find time to shop, cook, eat, walk, socialise (not a lot!) and even meditate (though often only briefly!) in amongst the long list of ‘things I would ideally get done/written/researched/completed’ but the bit I had left out in amongst the busy-ness was the practice of being still. It’s no wonder it felt odd when it happened.

What I am now remembering is that it is just as important to be still as it is to be productive, and that both elements are required to have a fulfilling life experience. My personal moments of stillness now involve embracing completely unproductive (and perhaps even more importantly ‘unplugged’) activities such as enjoying a coffee or tea outside observing, even if only for 15 minutes, the activity of others (birds or people depending upon where I am!) or nothing in particular, without automatically feeling I should be maximizing the moment by simultaneously catching up on social media or checking my messages. The fact that neither social media updates nor my personal messages have ever historically turned out to be life-threatening allows me the peace to safely not check them on an hourly basis! I’ve also rediscovered the art of reading for pleasure at home and not just when on holiday…. a very pleasant escape in contrast to restricting my reading time to textbooks and journals. Some day soon I may even dust off my easel and paintbrushes!

By simply giving myself permission to be still and essentially unproductive I now find the perfect offset to any feelings I may have of overwhelm or pressure, because once I stop I have the opportunity to centre myself, allow my mind to slow, and be reminded that there are things to get done and there are things that can wait and attempting to do it all is not necessarily a wise course of action. A moment within which I can ask myself ‘What have you done for yourself today’?

So I ask you now – how often do you stop, unplug, and just be still each day? Do you give yourself permission to not fill all your time with doing something that you ‘should’ be doing or are feeling compelled to do (I place the lure of social media firmly in this category!)? If not then I’d like to gently encourage you to rediscover some balance in your life by embracing the wonderful art of being still. 

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Healthy holiday survival tips

It’s that silly season again and I’m already getting the impression that stress levels are rising and all our usual good habits are at risk of going out the window! At this time it is more important than ever to make time for ourselves, eat well, slow down where possible and remember to breathe!

In the spirit of damage limitation - Here are some tips on how to keep physical and mental stressors to a minimum and remain well at this time of year.

Stay active!

This doesn’t just mean jumping about at the office party (though that can be good exercise!). Get out once a day for a 30-minute walk. Everyone can create some time to do this and it will help you stay calm, keep you in the swing of doing some exercise and clear your head. This ‘you’ time also allows you to focus on how you are feeling, to breathe deeply, smile, feel the sun on your face and ideally enjoy some natural surroundings where possible. Make party events about other than food – meet up in the park for a walk, cycle ride, to play frisbee, or go swimming. If you want to picnic, take healthy snacks where possible. Food is important – sure, but it’s the get-together that’s most important and having some fun.

Hydrate!

Not only are temperatures rising as summer approaches, but party season is almost here! For those that find themselves the victim of one party too many, remember that remaining suitably hydrated works wonders for damage limitation. Remember the minimum you should be drinking is 30ml per kg body weight per day. Do the math and make sure you are at least getting this amount. Alcohol dehydrates you so if you are drinking you really need to alternate

alcoholic drinks with water. Swap the bubbles for sparkling water perhaps with a dash of lemon, lime, hibiscus syrup or whatever else you have to make it fun! As nice as a few drinks can be – remember to be kind to your liver and do not overindulge! Consider avoiding sugary mixers in favour of soda or similar, a little red wine instead of bubbles etc. Don’t drink on an empty stomach, and slow down so you do not suddenly find yourself worse for wear.

Limit perfection!

Reduce potential stressors by adopting a more relaxed attitude. Parties and get-togethers should be fun so if time is tight don’t worry that the house isn’t spotless and focus more on anything you can get done to make your life and event run smoothly. Whether that is doing some party prep ahead of time or delegating tasks to others, aim to be able to chat and enjoy your guests when they arrive. The washing up can wait!

Be grateful for all the good things!

Every day – be grateful for what you have rather than focus on what you do not. This can be particularly important for those who find themselves away from family and friends when everyone else is busy socialising. Make time every day to stop and consider all the good things in life from the simple reality of a roof above your head and food in your fridge, to appreciating a sunny day or an hour to yourself to read a good book.

Adopt a few party food survival tips!

• Continue to eat regularly (don’t skip meals!) and have a healthy snack organized prior to any parties so you are less tempted to eat less optimal choices. Some fresh fruit and a small handful of unsalted nuts or the classic vege crudities with a dip like hummus are ideal but failing that carry a good protein bar with you to have before the party so you are less likely to over-indulge. Having a snack before you arrive also reduces the risk of you drinking on an empty stomach.

• If you are faced with eating from a buffet or canapés are being served, choose the most healthful options. If possible look at all that is on offer before making your choices (a bit harder with canapés I know but often serving staff are very helpful if you ask nicely!). Limit your starchy carbohydrate intake (breads, rice, crackers, cakes, potatoes), selecting instead from olives, nuts, fruits, vege crudities where possible and avoid fried items.

• Only use small-medium sized plates. This encourages portion control and you do not need to eat until you are stuffed! A modest amount should suffice as long as you are eating something regularly. At parties it’s also ok to allow yourself a small amount of your favourite food treats guilt-free – just watch the portion sizes! If you have been on a weight loss program then do your best but consider changing your focus to one of weight maintenance at this time, and await the New Year before continuing on your plan.

Remember the summer silly season is about parties and get-togethers, fun and frolics, sunny days and dressing up. Remember to have fun, take the opportunity to contact and catch up with old friends and family wherever possible but balance that with taking some time for yourself too. Happy holidays!

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The hope that surrounds impermanence

After considering the challenges of change in a recent post, my thoughts led naturally to the concept of impermanence. After all nothing really stays the same and this can be a good thing, or not so good depending upon (as always!) your perspective. It is an inescapable fact that within and without us things are changing all the time from moment to moment. A cell is created, does its work for a period of time and is then recycled, a flower buds and then blossoms only to fall and be absorbed back into the earth. Night turns to day and back to night; seasons change; the world turns; we grow older.

This doesn’t mean that your future is set in stone and inevitable, an excuse to sit by and watch with a sense that you are somehow helpless. What this reality does is give you the opportunity to experience the anticipation, excitement and wonder as each day, week, month and year unfolds.... to live with hope. After all, you never really know what will happen or where you will end up!

Once upon another time I lived in the UK never expecting to one day be an Australian, yet here I am and extremely happy to have had such an opportunity. I didn’t think I would travel interstate to live in Melbourne or be a Wellbeing Consultant, but yet again here I am. Even more recently I was settled into practice not far from the Melbourne CBD and now I find myself developing a warmer healing space closer to home in the lovely community of Clifton Hill with like-minded people. Perhaps most surprisingly (at least to me) I never expected to return my attention to the philosophical studies I explored as a teenager – yet once again I find myself delving into metaphysical realms as I remind myself that my recent attention on the purely physical is unsatisfactory and incomplete, even though I acknowledge that looking after the physical body is vitally important.

My point is that you never know what will happen, what opportunities will present and whether or not you will be ready or able to take advantage of them when they do. Will you even recognize these forks in the road as they appear? It is with the luxury of hindsight that we are able to revel in our choices and recognize how things have changed and evolved – how we have grown and what we have learned. I’m not certain when I became the person who grabs the opportunities that present or who sometimes makes a difficult choice in order to forge a different path. Nor am I certain how I became the person who even recognizes a potential fork in the road, though I admit I rely heavily on my intuition. I’m not even sure that all my choices have been good ones and certainly there have been challenging moments, but they bought me to today, which has blue skies and the promise of spring in the air, and as I write I feel content ….so that’s a good thing!

For now, I ask that you consider the concept of impermanence. Whether you need to watch and wait until the good outweighs the challenging again or whether you are fortunate enough to revel in the contentment you are currently experiencing, it is wise to recognize the ebbs and flows that bought you to this place as these shifts will no doubt continue to influence your life in future too. Just as this is a good day for me I acknowledge that tomorrow is another day. Yet despite its unknown qualities I choose to believe that there lies both hope and possibilities I may not even have considered, and so I wait with anticipation.

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Change is bad..... Right?

I guess this depends on how you are feeling but as someone who is experiencing a lot of change right now I can certainly admit that there are moments when its not fun, not exciting and doesn’t feel good at all. Yet in amongst those feelings I also catch glimpses of other qualities that change brings forth in me. Change brings my awareness to how strong I can be, how brave, how committed to making my future plans and dreams work, how much I really can cope with and what I can adapt to, where I am prepared to compromise and where I am not. It’s an interesting ride that’s for sure! 

I’ve realized that my real challenge lies in being confident I’ve made a good choice when there appear to be many paths ahead, but that’s the thing isn’t it…. We sometimes make decisions that do not work out and have to change them, and I’m learning to be ok with that. What’s not ok is knowing you’re less than 100% content, or you are feeling stuck or blocked in some way and yet the idea of having to change prevents you from doing anything about your situation….but you know what? Nothing can change unless something changes! An ironic but simple truth. 

So I ask you … are you 100% content right now? Is there something you could be doing better? Are you putting something off because it all seems too hard or complicated? Feeling a bit lost and unsure where to start? As someone who is very solution-focused in my practice and attempts to be equally so in my personal life, I recall being very inspired by an old lecturer of mine who asked all his clients one simple question …’What needs to change?’. So I share this with you because if you can honestly answer that simple question you will be a long way towards seeing where you need to begin right there and I hope you too will see all the amazing qualities change can bring forth in you.

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The power of potential in winter

I am always inspired by potential. If this seems a little too abstract allow me to explain. In Melbourne right now, technically it is winter. As a result, many of us who currently call our lovable, livable city home take every opportunity to complain about the cold, wind and rain, despite the fact that it doesn’t actually rain that much and it still manages to hit 15-18°C on most days and there are plenty of glimpses of blue skies and just enough sun to warm our hearts in the morning, whilst enjoying a morning coffee, and kidding ourselves we are getting a reasonable dose of Vitamin D (unlikely!). Plus, I have to admit, for those of us originally from colder northern hemispheres, complaining about the cold also holds a hint of irony because despite our sincerity at the time, really we have been completely spoilt by the land of sun that is typical Australia and we secretly love that winter in Melbourne is still warmer than spring and even many summer days in London….but that is another point entirely.

So, back to the concept of potential. I personally find it’s the little things around me that are the most inspiring and uplifting. For example, have you noticed that the trees have buds on them? If, like me, you grew up with the notion that spring is the season of new growth and winter was just something to sort of endure (unless you are lucky enough to go play in deliciously powdery snow for the season), then you may be surprised to note that in actual fact buds appear towards the beginning of winter. This means, at least to my way of thinking that winter should be renamed ‘The season of potential’, where new and amazing blooms, and therefore fruit and if we are really lucky nuts are just waiting for the opportunity to blossom, fill our senses and our bellies with all things good and delicious. That’s pretty exciting in my opinion!

Potential is about appreciating what could be … what WILL be, given the right circumstances. Take the humble acorn (a personal favourite of mine). OK, its not strictly edible to humans but it is a perfect example of  ‘…from little things, big things grow’. The mighty Oak tree exists simply because of a little acorn. It’s all down to potential. I could go on but my point is really this… Simply to acknowledge that within so many things around us and within us there lies potential and thus inspiration …. a thought, a dream, a skill, a spark to nurture and fan into a flame. For me it was and still is the dream to work for myself; to inspire others; to coax just a little more out of each person that comes to visit me at my clinic; to continue to look for and find the potential in everyone including myself; to continue to be inspired and excited by buds on trees in winter; and during times of challenge to be reminded that nothing is permanent … all things change … but that too is another topic entirely! 

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Staying well as the weather turns colder

Inside of you there is an amazing team of cells whose sole purpose is to keep you well. One particular team is collectively known as your immune system, and when they are healthy and functioning optimally you hardly notice the amount of work they do each day protecting you against invading bacteria, viruses and allergens. During the colder months there are more potential invaders around so supporting your immune system helps keep this team strong when it is under increased challenge.

• Zinc is the most significant mineral for good immune system function and a zinc insufficiency may cause a weaker than ideal immune response leading to cold symptoms that last longer or are more severe. Foods rich in zinc include oysters and other seafood, almonds, Brazil nuts, walnuts, eggs and sesame seeds.

• Vitamin C is also essential as it increases the activity of white blood cells allowing them to fight infection. Foods rich in vitamin C include citrus fruits, broccoli, capsicums, strawberries and snowpeas.

• In addition it is very important to have good gastrointestinal tract function as a large proportion of our immune system tissues actually reside within the gut. Healthy digestion and immune system function relies partially upon a good team of resident ‘friendly’ bacteria living within the gut, so any signs of poor digestion may indicate this team has become disorganised and this can impact upon your immune system wellbeing too. In some instances a probiotic supplement can be helpful, though it is important to get the right one, so speak to your healthcare practitioner if you are experiencing any digestive issues.

• Other simple ways to stay well in the lead up to and during winter is to focus on your diet. Eat a balanced diet made up of fresh colourful vegetables and fruits, unrefined (meaning unprocessed) carbohydrates, good lean protein sources and healthy fats. Cut out the junk foods and in particular sugary foods as these slow down your immune system.

• Make sure you de-stress! Slow down and relax as stress hormones reduce your ability to resist infection.

• Drink plenty of water! It is essential for all aspects of good health. In particular, if you do develop a cold with its characteristic runny nose you are losing fluids, which need to be replaced.

• Keep moving! As much as you may like to hibernate during the colder months, exercising regularly improves your circulation, reduces stress, raises mood and keeps you warm.

Lastly, if you are starting to feel a bit under the weather it is important to listen to your body and to rest. It is not ok to ‘soldier on’ at work despite what others may expect from us. Convalescence is the key to a complete recovery and avoiding additional days off.

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You become good at what you practice

It seems I am seeing a lot about meditation these days. Are we all getting so stressed that we are desperately looking for solutions? Perhaps - so how about incorporating some empowering stress management techniques into your day and creating a new routine? I can think of worse things to add to my day!

As someone who has studied meditation and is now a qualified meditation facilitator I have found that sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. No need to formally sit and attempt to reach a profound sense of stillness whilst mentally wrestling with what is often termed the 'monkey mind'. I find beginning and ending the day with a little habit can be all that is required to bring some quiet perspective.

This is what I do each day - First thing in the morning (after i've fumbled around to switch off my alarm at 6am!) I lie back and close my eyes and think of three things I am grateful for. That's it. It could be as simple as a warm, comfy bed; a roof above my head; the sound of rain outside while i'm inside; a holiday i'm looking forward to; a friend i'm going to see that day ....whatever. This practice not only gets you practicing gratitude for the life you lead but it starts the day on a positive rather than falling out of bed with a sense of urgency and panic for all that needs to be done that day....I prefer a positive start!

The second thing I do is at the other end of the day, before i fall asleep. I take three long, slow, deep breaths - hold for a second - and then breathe slowly out again consciously allowing any tension in my body to melt away and telling myself that this day is done and its time to sleep and recharge.

You can actually do this second exercise anytime in the day - the power of taking a deep breath is profoundly calming and gives you space to stop and think if you catch yourself tense and on the verge of being upset and off balance. Try it. It works.

I read somewhere recently that you become good at things that you practice - this makes perfect sense to me. So rather than becoming good at being uptight and tense - how about becoming an expert at bringing calm to your day and having a positive start every morning! These techniques are incredibly simple - try them and enjoy the benefits.

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